Sexuality and Semen…ya?

While I doubt that crude puns concerning names and ejaculate are a means of determining possible cases of mistaken sexuality, that might be the basis for the investigation taken by the IAAF on South African runner Caster Semenya. She has been suspected of having male characteristics, which would give her an unfair advantage over other women runners. Semenya dominated the 800m women’s world championships with an impressive, to say the least, time of 1:55.45. This was a vast improvement from her previous showings, and I must admit, a somewhat better reason for an investigation than the peculiarity of a giggle-inducing last name (most laughs attained through fake german-accent à la Goldmember).

Usain Bolt may be bashing records but Semenya’s smashing the boundaries of sex like she was She-Hulk. Hey, She-Hulk’s strong, but that doesn’t make her a man. This investigation begs the questions, “what exactly does constitute a person’s sex?” and “how does this relate to gender, if at all?” A write-up at the sportscientists blog does a great job of highlighting several of the questions that complicate the issue. This isn’t simply a matter of puns or even a matter of whoo-hoos vs wee-wees*(see footnote). This encompasses and extends beyond gender and sex lines. The argument ultimately wonders what is fair and right. And how, when the controversy is dimmed, and a decision has been reached, all this will affect the career of a great young runner.

I can’t help but be a fan of the shoulder brush…

*Coincidentally enough, this is also the name of a questionable Native American documentary that is (it is said) devastatingly disruptive especially when played at full volume on an exceedingly large computer monitor. And although I wouldn’t know, I’d warrant that many of the less embarrassed patrons of the internet cafe will be curious as to the title of the titillating film…so, it’s a good thing that you know it now, eh? Not that I would know or anything.**

**I would know, however, that you quite needlessly read the previous footnote, because you’d have read this footnote. While I might know this, one thing I actually do not know is if there is such a thing as whoo-hoos vs wee-wees. I would imagine that it would be something like this. Just as hot, except maybe sexier and with horses and a chick named Pocahotass.

Contraversus: Method Man uses Rifle-Style

Method Man has shot someone…in public. And if you didn’t know, then you (like me) are behind the times, because this happened awhile back. July, apparently. What if I wasn’t here to let you know about stale news, eh? Take into account that a crouton is just stale bread. Or at least…I think that’s right. Either way, I’d be damned if they don’t make salad that much more delicious. And guess what? If it’s already happened then it’s history. And “yadda yadda yadda”, you’re doomed to repeat. Now you know to get the hell out the way when Mef brings the mufuckin ruckus.

Mary Anderson claims that, after a show in Houston, Method Man unloaded into an audience through the back window of his tour bus. She was shot six times. She is not dead because she was shot with a pellet gun, the oh-so-effective bird and squirrel massacring agent used by many a wee lad and lass. Unassuming, but far from harmless. Most people don’t know that the art of pelletry has been used by shaolin monks for thousands of years.

So was Mef in the wrong? Uhdunno, not for me to decide. But I bet Mrs. Anderson has a bomb-ass story to tell her kids and grandkids one day. Many fans would have been honored to have been shot by the Wu-swordsman. Regardless of right or wrong Method Man always keeps it real for the kids.

SOHH article

AllHipHop article

Legend Les Paul Passes Away…

Lester William Posfuss, better known as Les Paul, died today at the age of 94. He was the inventor of the solid-body electric guitar, which essentially equates to him being not only a part of music history, but THE HISTORY in a sense. Imagine your favorite bands. Now imagine them without electric guitars. Everything from shredder math-metal fast-paced in your face solos to tear-jerking big-haired eighties-ballads, would not have been possible without the innovation of Les Paul. He was a guitar enthusiast, music lover, and an awesome person in general . And he will be truly missed.

Here’s a video from artisan news on Les Paul:
Les Paul

Toluna. Sounds like tuna. Fuck tuna get you some clams.

As a slacker, I’m always looking to make more money through as little effort as possible. Getting paid to take online surveys is far from a new idea, but most of the time earning money through these endeavors have little pay off, and are usually more trouble than their worth. That is, until now. What if I told you that there was a survey group out there that was well run, fun and had a social networking aspect to it? Don’t believe me? Well, that kinda hurts my feelings.

I introduce to you, my dolphin haters, dun da nuh Toluna the newest way, for the lazy, like myself, to live in the lap of luxury. Or at least get some pocket change for some Mickey D’s. Now you can get that doublecheese McDouble without digging into your regular paycheck, allowance, drug loot, what have you. Get paid to be a compotato today! Just made that up, aren’t I clever?

Awkwardness and awkwords

Yo, what up internets? You know those awkward moments….You know what I’m talking about? Oh, you don’t? Umm…you know like when you don’t mean to say something and you say the wrong thing instead, when you were…meaning to say really…something…else…? Uhhh…heh.

These moments happen everyday, even to the best of us. The most intelligent, the most charismatic, the most eloquent of individuals can be brought down to very subnormal levels of respect when they drop word-turds out their mouth hole. While, most people might let “good” slip as a response to stimuli such as “what up” or (less acceptable) “hi”, there are certain responses that manage to confuse both parties involved. What ensues are verbal exchanges that seem to regress communication of any type. The other day I was involved in such an incident. This is my story.

It happened this past Thursday. Yes, 3 days ago. I had to let the happenings fester and marinate in my mind to truly understand. Plus I’m lazy, so you’re getting the story now. Anyway, I went to the bank to make a deposit, in order to have enough money to pick up some tickets for Method Man and Redman (which I’m mad excited for). The transaction went smooth enough. Made the deposit, and started heading out. I saw someone coming on the other side of the glass, and I, being the good samaritan that I am, timed the opening of the door perfectly. The guy just had to step through and just drop a “thanks” ever so politely. This is what transpired instead.

I open the door. He walks in, turns around, and says…”How you doing?” To which I reply…”Thanks.” What? “Thanks”? Why the fuck would I say that? Even better, why would he not say what I just had, which is much easier and less risky than “how you doing?”. I may be nice, but I’m not tryin’ to talk to strangers any more than is necessary. That is unless you’re a nice girl with a compelling personality…who might possibly also be hot.

I finally figured out that, while he might have been looking at me, he was talking to the teller behind him, a few feet away. Which makes no kind of sense. It might not have helped that I was a lil’ bit elevated. But damn, I felt like Paula Abdul or something.

…on second thought, maybe not that bad actually.

New direction, new blog

In an effort to better organize my chaotic, and sometimes disturbing thoughts, I’ve decided to take a new direction with this blog, and to transfer current posts to my other, newly-created blog.

This blog will now primarily focus on my lifestyle choices as a procrastinator, as well as the everyday events in my life that shape, and will continue to shape, my philosophy of leisurely enjoyment. Mainly I’m going to write about things that lazy bums, such as myself, like to do, eat, screw, watch, etc.

Meanwhile, my other blog will consist of what this blog has consisted of, up until this point. So, basically little tidbits in my personal life. I’m doing this to make both my blogs more consistent…nahmean?

You (and by you I mean my mom and stalkers who haven’t figured out that I’m not worth stalking yet) can find my other blog at Bored of These Dolphins. Clever title, eh?

Sukiyaki Western Django…"an epic tale of blood, lust, and greed"

I recently had the pleasure of watching the stylized and entertaining Sukiyaki Western Django, directed by the revered and frequently imitated Miike Takashi. I am by no means an expert on Japanese cinema, save for a bit of dabbling in Anime and the occasional Japanese film that generates enough buzz to make it stateside. But I am trying to get more acquainted, especially since I’ve been taking Japanese classes. I did, however, enjoy this movie to the fullest. I was instantly drawn from the opening scene which features Ringo played by Quentin Tarantino (Miike had a role in Hostel back in ’05, so I guess he was repaying the favor) laying some groundwork for the rest of the film. Vibrant and fuzzy colors are put on display on scenery that includes a flat sun, and mountain cutout. I don’t know if that sounds bad or good, but I definitely thought it was a good thing. Ringo relays the tale of the Heike and Genji clans who war over a famed-treasure on some far off island. Miike and Tarantino are reportedly good friends and have said that they are fans of each others’ works. And while this may come off as a Tarantino-esque (oodles of blood, stylized violence, pop culture references…and Tarantino himself) film, Miike is able to execute his vision a couple of steps above what Quentin manages.

This movie is not exactly the deepest of films when it comes to plot. The introduction (as mentioned, “Heike and Genji war over…treasure”) is enough to have you in the know for the majority of the movie, save for the fact that a heroic gunman (played by Hideaki Ato), is thrown into the mix. There is, however, plenty of emotion that can be drawn from the characters. These range from a widow who loses her husband, and who must give her body up in order to exact her revenge upon his murderer, to a heroine who had long since put her past behind her and must reemerge as a gunslinger once again. There are also various themes to be followed here. Love, revenge, duty, morality, honor. All these apparent in interactions between interesting and archetypal characters.


But the main thing that caught my eye, would have to be, without a doubt, the things that I saw…with my eyes. That is too say that this is a gorgeous movie. The imagery in every scene is astounding. The mix of contrasting colors(often the symbolic red and white of the Heike and Genji), as well as the juxtaposition of Western and Japanese elements is extremely pleasing to the occipital lobe. This movie has ten-gallon hats, katanas, kimonos, revolvers (you name it) all melded together into surprisingly cohesive scenery. Even the actors, the majority Japanese, speak in English. Although their acting is superb, the accents make it, at times, difficult to decipher the dialogue. However, this only adds another dimension to the film. Miike is able to fuse so many genres into one, paying homage throughout the movie, whether it be through imitation or satire. He nods to spaghetti westerns, b-movies, anime, etc. Movie buffs will no doubt be able to draw many connections to various schools of film. I’m not the most well-versed in movie history so I’ll be picking at this thing forever. I just now understand the reference to
Django. *Sigh* I’ve got a long way to go.

If you’re looking for a movie with a deep and compelling plot in the traditional sense, you might want to steer clear of this one. But if you want to see a movie about movies, with interesting characters, if you want to have fun and watch something where even the violence is beautiful (and sometimes hilarious), then you might want to check this one out.

Official Website

Farah Fawcett & Michael Jackson pass away


Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both passed away today. Jackson (50) died of cardiac arrest at approximately 2:26 pm pacific time. Fawcett (62) died after a long, public battle with cancer. I had already known about Farah Fawcett earlier, but I was chilling with some friends when someone got a text informing us about MJ. We were all a lil’ “elevated” so we just brushed it off as some prank. But alas, ’tis true. Both entertainers had huge fan bases and both were legends in their own rights. Michael Jackson was the king of pop and Farrah was the Charlie’s Angels babe (before my time, but still hot) that everyone had up on their walls, back in the day. Both will be missed by their loyal fans. But honestly I don’t know how to feel, especially concerning MJ. Unfortunately, he had become, towards the end of his career and up until now, the butt of many jokes. It sounds wrong to say, but I’m more inclined to feel remorse for Fawcett’s passing. MJ had become an enigma that was becoming increasingly difficult to figure out. He was a peculiar man, that many people (myself included) could not comprehend. His actions had become eccentric to a point that it was difficult to separate the man from the confusion. If that makes any sense. There is still no doubt that he and Farrah both made a huge impact in the entertainment industry. Here’s to two legends. Rest in peace.

Transformers (second in a series of posts concerning TF 2 and the lengths I had to go through to watch it) : Weapons of mass destruction.

(Photo: ign.com)

Like I said last post, I recently went to the opening midnight showing of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. I’d been mowing the lawn about 2 hours before my friends and I actually went to the theater. Our household has an electric lawnmower that plugs up to an outlet. Now, I’m all about going green and protecting the environment, but holy shit that thing gets on my nerves. Our yard is way too big for it. Anyway, I was putting in work, being a good back-at-home-for-the-summer college student, and minding my business, when I felt something hot on my hand. When I looked down I saw a huge yellow jacket molesting the top part of my hand near the right-pointer knuckle. I slapped the mofo, yelled and took off toward the front of the yard (I was in the back) with what seemed like ten yellow jackets in tow. After I got inside and took off my clothes, I found four or five that were apparently lounging in my pants. Who knows where they could have been. Around my boy parts and whatnot. Damn pervey interspeciesexual wasps.
This traumatic occurrence caused me to think of yellow jackets every time I saw Bumblebee on screen. Most unfortunate since Bumblebee is one of my more favorite Transformers, at least in the movies. A tinge of hate riddled my every appreciation of his appearance. Yeah, it was that serious.
So in light of all this, I thought I would enlighten you guys with some ways you can get rid of wasps or, if you feel so inclined, a Transformer (shame on you!…unless it’s a Decepticon, I guess…actually I don’t really give a shit either way).
Here’s a low-cost wasp trap that’s apparently supposed to be pretty effective.
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Pretty high-tech if I do say so myself. Check out how to make one here:
Wasp trap and other cool outdoor shit
To get rid of a Transformer:
tony jaa

I’ve only seen one of his movies, but I’m pretty sure Tony Jaa could get the job done. Especially if they took his elephants.